First of all, I have to apologize for my lack of updates and I have been slacking off at reading your blogs. Busy with work and life, my bad at that!! Sorry!

This morning I have heard from the radio station, there was this community message thing done by OneFM from time to time to promote different human values. This time it’s about trust.

The setting was pretty typical, a girl gives her friend something to do, and asks for the progress. The friend reassures that everything is in control, and the girl starts to worry that the details are not done well enough, things are that she must do everything right or they might lose the job and this and that.

The friend listens to her worries for a while and when she couldn’t take it, she interrupts, “You’ve passed the job to me, then you should trust me to do the job well!”

Exactly. Have you ever ask yourself, how much do you trust your friends, family or colleagues, and do you trust them enough?

Image @Denise Lamby on Flickr

I’m sure that a lot of us work in a team or together with other people a lot of times. Unless you’re a lone ranger then you might not have to deal with anyone else, but then there must be some time that you have to cooperate and work with others to get some things done.

It may be that project you want to pitch for the company, that daily admin job of the office, that wedding you’re going to organize, that Chinese New Year chores you want to start working on with your family, or that holiday trip you’re planning with your friends.

Humans are social animals. We can only get so much done by ourselves, that’s why we need the help of others. And when we need the help of others, we have to trust them to be able to help us.

Lack of confidence is annoying

There’s nothing more annoying than asking help from someone then not trust them enough to do the job. Well it doesn’t matter if you are forced to be in a team or if you asked them for help, but as long as you’re working together, you should trust them.

Because most of the time they know what they’re doing before even taking on the task. This shows that they’re confident to do the job, so why are you not confident in them?

If they’re professionals, you should trust them even more because they know what to do better than you.

If they’re just as clueless as you, you should trust them to be able to make good enough decisions.

If they’re not as competent as you, you should trust them to make some progress and guide them along the way, not doubting and dismissing their thoughts and actions.

Relationships are built on trust

Of course, being overly confident and trusting too much can sometimes lead to disappointment. But really, if you don’t give at least a minimum standard of trust and be an ass trying too hard to get things right your way, you will end up hurting the job and the relationship more than being any real help.

Relationships build on trust. It’s only through trusting someone that we be open to each other and form a great relationship, to be great friends or great family or great colleagues. To gain trust you need to prove yourself to be trustworthy, but you have to do the most basic thing first too.

Learn to trust. :)

Do you trust your friends and family enough? Or are you one of the worry-warts that think too much? ;)

Everyone has been talking about All I Want To Get For Christmas…

Well, how about turning it around, and thinking, All I Want To Give For Christmas, for once?

A little time, a little money, a little patience… How about a little love too?

Image @akosikenet on Flickr

Putting A Smile On The Face

The smiley face has always been a wonder to the human race. As humans we have always wanted to see people smile, and there’s nothing more cheerful than looking at happy movies, happy pictures, happy people, happy kids.

And there is nothing even more happier than to be able to put a smile on someone’s face. No matter how elaborate or simple of the thing that you do to bring that smile, you will still get a smile in return, a smile of gratitude.

While it seems trivial, but giving gifts is one of the way that we do to see a smile on others face. And Christmas is the time when people give people gifts, because people want to see people happy.

I’m sure you have done it before, and I’m sure you know how it feels. Giving is sometimes more satisfying than receiving, no?

A New Christmas Wish-list: What do you want to give this Christmas?

Interestingly, we’ve made such a long wish-list of what we wanted to get for Christmas. And then when it comes to the part where we have to make a list of gifts we are to buy and to give to people, we begin to cringe and sigh about the hole that is going to burn in our wallet.

Image @akosikenet on Flickr

But really, what is it all for? Is it really the materialistic exchange of goods that we’re looking for here? Or is it something behind that is driving our soul to make such a move, the joy of giving and taking, the wish to make people happy?

Put down the Getting wish-list for a second, and look at that Giving wish-list. It’s not so bad of an change after all, is it? After all, what you get in return for giving is not just a hole in your wallet, it’s the feeling of content, the spread of love, the bliss of joy, and well for those who are into it, some good Karma. ;)

Spreading some love for Christmas, anyone?

Anthony from Gratitude had shared with us a charity children home, Good Samaritan Home at Klang, that needed some love for the season. For a little background, the orphanage hosts 29 children ranging from the age of 1-19 that needs a bit of a change, both the cents and the environment.

And they sure can use some lovin.

While I am not going to tell you how cramped their house and how much they can use a real roasted turkey for the season, you can probably guess the state of how most of Malaysian’s charity homes are. To put it simply, they needed more love than how much you need that new iPhone.

If you can, put this little name, Good Samaritan Home on your Christmas Giving Wish-list. For this is so much that I can do and ask of you, and for there is so much more that you can do too. Spread the word if you can’t help financially, for action always speak louder than words. :)

Good Samaritan Home

Home Address:
Good Samaritan Homes
No. 2, Lebuh Jelutong
Taman Selatan
41200 Klang
Selangor Darul Ehsan.

Tel/fax no: 03-33722289
Email: goodsh2002@yahoo.co.uk
Contact person : Pastor Albert Ong
Bank account number : Kindly contact Pastor for the info.

And hey, thank you for reading this far, for you have given me the time to think of my words, I am really grateful. I hope these words will make a change for you, for them. :)

There’s always some magic about theater plays that you can never catch in the movies.

Perhaps it’s the intimacy of the stage, that you feel so close to the actors and you can relate to them so deeply as the play progresses.

Perhaps it’s the script and plot, that it is so concise to portray a story with the bare minimum, each dialogue is so well written that you get absorbed without the need for close-up cameras.

Perhaps it’s the environment and atmosphere, where the lighting and music are carefully cued and arranged that it makes you feel much deeper than watching people on screen.

Whatever it is, I’m a sucker for theater plays lately, and The Swimming Instructor is sucking me deeper into the whirl of theater arts.

It has everything, great actors, great script, carefully chosen yet minimal props made this intimate play at KLpac’s Pentas 2 a marvelous success.

Hours had passed since the end of the show, and I’m still lingering on each scene, trying to catch the layers of plots and morals embedded in every moment.

The Swimming Instructor

90 Minutes Of Sexuality Crisis

It was stated very clearly at the door notice, that this play is ADULT THEMED lasting 90 minutes without break.

And they really mean it. The 90 minutes flowed seamlessly without any breaks, intervening between our three heroes and heroine on the topics of love, friendship, sex and sexuality. The play is written by Desmond Sim, and he’s a genius to mash everything together into an intimate yet humorous play that explores the values mentioned with a very human touch.

He is a swimming instructor that is an object of affection by many, including this guy and this girl. He is floating in a pool of his past, torn apart and confused by a surprise, a change, a bad decision. And he tries to find an answer to stop floating in the past.

She is an aggressive rich little princess that wants things her way. She is loud and forward, actively pushing and making chances to get near to the swimming instructor that once helped her in the past. She does everything to get him. She wants him oh so badly.

He is a smart and intelligent guy that follows plans and makes decisions systematically. When it comes to love when systems and intelligence doesn’t work, he’s afraid to make a move. He sits and waits, and lets fate decide if the chance will ever fall on him.

Yes, there are homosexual elements involved. Gays, start marching! :P

The Swimming Instructor

Chances And Decisions

“Even if there is one chance…One chance that you can love, you must take it. Because the little chances we waste can change our whole life” -Guan, The Swimming Instructor, taken from Dustyhawk

Some people pray very hard and wait for chances to come on them. Some people fight very hard to get the chances. Some people did not expect the chances to come at all.

But what would you do when you have a chance, and how do you know if you’ve made the right decision?

As humans, we are prone to making bad decisions. And by chance, by vigor or by fate we will eventually be presented with crossroads that we’ll have to pick a route that will change everything. It’s devastating to be forced to make a big decision in a short spur of time, or even in split seconds.

You will never know if you’ve picked the right way, but one thing for sure, if you don’t grab the chances in your hands the moment it falls, the chances are you will regret it later.

What, do you expect to read more about the story here?

Well, fat chance! Go watch the show and find out yourself, hey, there are still 2 more shows coming up, you can still make time to catch them!

The Swimming Instructor
12 December 2009 (Sat) 8.00pm,
13 December 2009 (Sun) 3.00pm
RM38, free seating @ Pentas 2, KLpac

Find out more about the show at the Facebook Event Page here, or read about it directly from one of the actors himself, Niki Cheong over here and here!

If you’re into theater arts, if you love a good show, if you like some sexual innuendos, if you like to see a half-naked hunk on stage, if you love a lot of good laughs… Too many reasons to get your ass there!

Go and be enlightened, like me! :D

P/s: If you really want some spoilers on the plot, here’s the place to go! You’ve been warned! ;)

It is without doubt that each and every one of us humans are unique and special.

And because you’re so unique and special, there must be some differences in interests between you and your parents, your friends, your lover, your colleagues, and everyone else in the world.

There may be a lot, or there may be little. Some may upset you, some may excite you.

The challenge is, how to embrace the differences and make it something that excites you, not otherwise.

Three Different Girls Jumping

We Have Different Tastes

I have a friend who lives in UK. He’s enthusiastic about law studies, works as an IT support, an ex-trumpet player and loves jazz music.

He works night shifts and with his nocturnal vampiric times he chats with me about a lot of things. Indeed, he is very different from me. I’m a designer, a piano player, loves classical music, and I know nuts about law.

But we embraced our differences. We know that we both have different interests, and we both are eager to learn from each other. I always ask him about jazz music and he’s very willing to share. In fact after reading my blog on The Girl From Ipanema he recommended me some Bossa Nova classics that I couldn’t stop listening to.

Empathize

When I introduced Philippe Jaroussky singing “L’Heure Exquise” a few days ago, he listened and replied very honestly to me,

“I don’t know much about classical music, and I don’t get guys singing in high voice, but I guess it must be a pretty big thing for a 15yo.”

Yes, it’s that simple. He knows our difference, talked about the difference, and tried to find a middle ground both parties can stand and agree upon.

That, my friend, is the golden steps to empathize with your partner and embrace the differences between you two.

But I Can’t Stand It! Or Is It So?

There are rarely any really bad interests out there. Unless we’re talking about your boyfriend being a hardcore alcoholic or your girlfriend is an obsessed card-swipper, then embracing the differences may not be a good idea.

Otherwise, if you’re not a football fan and your friend is, why not try to understand him and ask him about it? Chances are he is very enthusiastic and very willing to tell you all about it.

Same goes to your Hong Kong drama-chaser friend. If you talked to her about the latest drama (ungh, the Chinese palace politics!), even you may have not watched it before she’ll probably brief you from episode 1 until the finale. Just give her an hour or two.

Interests are cultivated. That applies to your interests too. If they learned to love it, there must be something facinating about it. And it’s up to you to find out.

Learn From Each Other

While we all have at least a certain level of ego in us, usually it’s not a good thing to keep them high. Put your ego down and open your mind. We make friends, and especially lovers, to learn from each other.

You can see friends or lovers who have been together for years probably has more similarities than differences. I think it’s safe to say many of those similarities are not inherited, but cultivated. And they embraced the differences to make it that long.

So, what have you learned from your friend today?

My Dad loves Facebook, and he plays it everyday!

My Dad loves Facebook, and I wonder if it’s a good thing or no?

My Dad Loves Facebook

My Dad loves Facebook, and he started to play Facebook since 3 months ago!

My Dad loves Facebook, and he is 61!

My Dad loves Facebook, and he loves to share his love for Almond, my younger brother!

My Dad Loves Almond

My Dad loves Facebook, and he has like 150 friends!

My Dad's Facebook Friends

My Dad's Doggie Facebook Friends

My Dad loves Facebook, and all his friends are… Poodles and doggies? @.o”"~!

My Dad loves Facebook, and he is very active!

My Dad loves Facebook, and he plays Chinese games and makes Chinese friends… Even though he doesn’t know how to read or write Chinese!

My Dad's Facebook Activities

My Dad Loves Youtube

My Dad loves Facebook, and he loves YouTube to the max too!

My Dad loves Facebook, and he loves the quizzes!

My Dad Loves Facebook Quizzes

My Dad loves Facebook, and the quizzes tell what a great Dad he is :)

My Dad loves Facebook, and being a great Dad he is, he loves to comment on MY Facebook!

My Dad Loves Commenting on me on Facebook

My Dad Loves Commenting on me on Facebook

P/s: MAS = Mana Ada System

My Dad Comments on Me

My Dad Loves Facebook, and he’s worried about Vietnamese Rose VD on me.

My Dad messages me on Facebook

My Dad loves Facebook, and he warns me to don’t simply shoot… Uhhh… A water-gun maybe?

My Dad loves Facebook, and oh I love him too.

But still… To be honest…

Sometimes I still wish he will stay out of my Facebook!

When was the last time you had lunch with your family?

Yeah, I couldn’t remember neither. Weeks, or even months?

Thats why it can be quite a memorable occasion, no?

You know, we youngsters have a life of our own. From secondary school to college to now, work, our time has always been occupied with various activities here and there. Even weekends, most of the time, lunchtimes will most probably mean being out with friends or hiding in the room with some bread and biscuits facing YouTube or Facebook or that goddamn assignment.

Being an unfilial-piety son I am, I had always slept until 12 on Saturdays. Today, I woke up early. Like 10.30am, early. Then my brother came in and asked if I wanted to go out for lunch with them.

I was debating with myself, to have another bread and biscuits lunch with YouTube and Facebook, or to go out for the first time in months with my family for lunch, out.

Very tough decision. YouTube and CollegeHumor is very tempting.

I chose the latter.

And so I embarked on a 2-hours journey, for lunch.

Somewhere at the distant suburbs, 30mins drive from here, from Sri Petaling to Dengkil, near Cyberjaya. Just for a bowl of noodles.

Almond trying to sleep

My younger brother (a.k.a Almond the poodle) was trying to sleep all the way, while I sat at the window, watching my parents camwhore occasionally with the dog as the dog unwillingly obliged. My brother was at the driver’s seat on auto-drive mode, I’m guessing his mind was drifting away as the surrouding scenery of repeating tropical plants flew pass the window.

And there we were, for the bowl of noodles. With lots of fried pig fat and vinegar. And a glass of cincau ais.

Very simple, isn’t it? Not much words were exchanged during the outing, but there was something more that is shared mutually in midst of silence.

Family. For years you have sticked together, and you will for many years more. However changing the surrounding will be, however simple the food and drink, however dull things might seem, that is actually the beauty of it.

Perhaps for once, we should take some time off our busy daily schedule and have lunch with your family. Perhaps you might find out things you’ve never noticed before.

Such as the white hairs that are budding on my mom’s scalp. Makes me remember the days when I was young and I plucked them for her. Oh, the days.

Glass? One drop and it’s shattered.

Paper? One tear and it’s in pieces.

But they’re nothing compared to the heart. One word, that’s it, and it’s broken.

Bleeding Heart

No kidding. Words can make and break a person in matter of seconds. You can be good and happy a few seconds ago, and just a few exchange of sentence, there it goes.

Some other things can be “Once Broken, Considered Sold”. Nuh-uh for the heart.

Once Broken, You’re Screwed. Literally.

Relationships may change over weeks or years. But even more often, they change over a few minutes.

We’ve always said how strong love, family and friendship can be, and nothing can break it. Really, it’s true, nothing can. You can’t break em with a baseball bat, or a chainsaw or even a car, but all it takes is just some “stories”, some “opinions”, some “comments” to make a difference. Not necessary a good one.

Some draws a scar bit by bit, deeper and deeper with every word said, carving in slowly but surely like a sculptor’s knife. Some cuts through the heart like a blunt knife through a tomato. Enough said.

Next time you say a word, think about it, how are the words you’re saying carve into the heart of your listener? Like Michaelangelo, or like a butcher?

Here’s a story that I’ve read over a forwarded email sometime ago that I’d love to share:

There once was a little boy who had a bad temper. His father gave him a bag of nails and told him that every time he lost his temper, he must hammer a nail into the back of the fence.

The first day the boy had driven 37 nails into the fence. Over the next few weeks, as he learned to control his anger, the number of nails hammered daily gradually dwindled down. He discovered it was easier to hold his temper than to drive those nails into the fence.

Finally the day came when the boy didn’t lose his temper at all. He told his father about it and the father suggested that the boy now pull out one nail for each day that he was able to hold his temper. The days passed and the young boy was finally able to tell his father that all the nails were gone.

The father took his son by the hand and led him to the fence. He said, “You have done well, my son, but look at the holes in the fence. The fence will never be the same. When you say things in anger, they leave a scar just like this one. You can put a knife in a man and draw it out. It won’t matter how many times you say I’m sorry, the wound is still there.”

The little boy then understood how powerful his words were. He looked up at his father and said “I hope you can forgive me father for the holes I put in you.”

“Of course I can,” said the father.

I have experienced the feeling of my heart being tossed over in minutes. Have you?