Choosing a server is like choosing a girlfriend or a wife. They come in different packages with different functionalities.

First you have to consider the server type.

Whores are shared hosting servers. These servers are shared between 20-50 users or more. They give limited attention to you, because they have so many others to please. Thats why they’re the cheapest. If you’re just a player, yeah, these are for you.

A long distance girlfriend is like VPS (Virtual Private Servers). You control them from a distant place, they will do their best to please you whatever you tell them to, and God knows what happens to them after you disconnected. But then, it also means total freedom on your side too. Woohoo.

Women Are Like Servers

Want to get partly committed? A girlfriend with affairs is semi-dedicated servers. They serve 2-4 users at the same time. They do better than VPS and Shared Hosting as they has lesser people to serve, they still give part of their attention to you, but the other parts are given to people you’ll never know who.

A great girlfriend or wife is a dedicated server. They’re totally 1-on-1 players. They give all their attention to you, provide you all their resources, work at their maximum for you and you can always rely on them anytime. Yurp, they’re the best you can ever get. Only for serious people.

Then consider the operating systems

Girls who run on Windows are pretty to look at, easy to understand, crashes all the time, and they will turn blue on you for no reason.

Girls who run on Linux are a tough nut to crack, speaks gibberish but once you know how to control them, they can be the toughest, practical and longest-lasting one you’ll ever get.

Girls who run on Mac are the perfect breed, the sleekest of them all, the best of brains and brawns, you can’t ask for anything better. Oh wait… do they exist?

The Server Specifications

The faster the processor, the faster they think.

The higher the ram, the more things they can handle at the same time.

The more the hard-disk, the more things they can remember.

Hmm… sometimes these things on a girlfriend isn’t that great, hmm?

So what kind of a server are you running on? ;)

The above idea came from a twisted lunch discussion at the workplace. So much for working in a web hosting company!

In case you’re wondering, the girl on the picture is my manager Jacelyn. She’s happily taken and definitely a dedicated server running on Linux. Want her? Fat chance, guys. :P