First of all, I have to apologize for my lack of updates and I have been slacking off at reading your blogs. Busy with work and life, my bad at that!! Sorry!

This morning I have heard from the radio station, there was this community message thing done by OneFM from time to time to promote different human values. This time it’s about trust.

The setting was pretty typical, a girl gives her friend something to do, and asks for the progress. The friend reassures that everything is in control, and the girl starts to worry that the details are not done well enough, things are that she must do everything right or they might lose the job and this and that.

The friend listens to her worries for a while and when she couldn’t take it, she interrupts, “You’ve passed the job to me, then you should trust me to do the job well!”

Exactly. Have you ever ask yourself, how much do you trust your friends, family or colleagues, and do you trust them enough?

Image @Denise Lamby on Flickr

I’m sure that a lot of us work in a team or together with other people a lot of times. Unless you’re a lone ranger then you might not have to deal with anyone else, but then there must be some time that you have to cooperate and work with others to get some things done.

It may be that project you want to pitch for the company, that daily admin job of the office, that wedding you’re going to organize, that Chinese New Year chores you want to start working on with your family, or that holiday trip you’re planning with your friends.

Humans are social animals. We can only get so much done by ourselves, that’s why we need the help of others. And when we need the help of others, we have to trust them to be able to help us.

Lack of confidence is annoying

There’s nothing more annoying than asking help from someone then not trust them enough to do the job. Well it doesn’t matter if you are forced to be in a team or if you asked them for help, but as long as you’re working together, you should trust them.

Because most of the time they know what they’re doing before even taking on the task. This shows that they’re confident to do the job, so why are you not confident in them?

If they’re professionals, you should trust them even more because they know what to do better than you.

If they’re just as clueless as you, you should trust them to be able to make good enough decisions.

If they’re not as competent as you, you should trust them to make some progress and guide them along the way, not doubting and dismissing their thoughts and actions.

Relationships are built on trust

Of course, being overly confident and trusting too much can sometimes lead to disappointment. But really, if you don’t give at least a minimum standard of trust and be an ass trying too hard to get things right your way, you will end up hurting the job and the relationship more than being any real help.

Relationships build on trust. It’s only through trusting someone that we be open to each other and form a great relationship, to be great friends or great family or great colleagues. To gain trust you need to prove yourself to be trustworthy, but you have to do the most basic thing first too.

Learn to trust. :)

Do you trust your friends and family enough? Or are you one of the worry-warts that think too much? ;)

Well, its been months since this blog had started, and honestly I didn’t talk much about myself, as much as I wish I do!

To get rid of the anonymity between you and me, I am for once dedicate this post to talk all about me!

Yay, all about Grey! The blabbering bastard that gets high on listening to a guy singing like a girl and talks about sex all the time. Yeesh, what kind of a person is that?

I will not bore you with how many hairstyles I have changed in my life or how many pets I have at home. Instead, I will share with you my interests and thoughts that means a lot to me of who I am.

Well, lets just keep it short, come and learn all about me today!

Warning: Really, really long post ahead!

The Basics First

Grey got a new haircut, like yesterday!

By the time I write this post I’m still 22. In 4 months time I’m going to be 23, and oh, time flies! 23 years gone in my life, and what have I done? Catching up with all those porn probably.

It felt like yesterday that I have just graduated from Confucious Private Secondary School and moved on to KBU International College. I graduated from college in Graphic Design, and now I am working in Piradius Design as a web designer.

Doesn’t show through huh? Yeah I think so too. I’m a designer that talks and craps more than design. ;)

Besides that, I am also a choir singer for around 9 years now, and a crappy piano player for around 7 years. I started late in my teens, I’m not greatly talented, but I still enjoy playing it as a hobby. As I always say, if you start now, when you’re 50 years old you’ve probably played for more than 30 years! Isn’t that an achievement? :D

I love my Chinese and English

My mom thinks that the whole family are bananas who can’t read chinese, so it’s a wise thing to send me to a chinese secondary school. I appreciated that, of course! The Chinese culture is fascinating, 5000 years worth of culture is not something that you can feel in matter of minutes. There are so much Confucianism and Taoism values that I had absorbed and learned to appreciate today.

Many people make the “Confucianism is confusing” joke. Well it’s funny a little, but Confucianism is a very highly respected set of moral values to the Chinese. Go read about it and you will see why, it determines almost 80% of all about Chinese culture today, from values in filial piety to relationships. Mostly everything.

Grey is so desperate he'll eat anything. Really!

Then there’s the English world that I’ve come across in college. Thanks to the banana friends and the English nature of the course, I had to brush up my English language skills like from zero to hero. Well not really hero now neither, but you get what I mean. :P

My banana friends had introduced me to the world of the Western culture. They listened to Rihanna and Lady Gaga, they watched Heroes and Harry Potter, they followed American Idol and So You Think You Can Dance… None, and I mean none of these I have ever come across during my secondary school life. And I love them for doing so. I was a total Taiwan and Hong Kong follower back in secondary school, now I guess I’m a global guy.

An Open Mind

I'm in Second Life! If you're in, look me up, the name is Dadaist Gears. ;)

A mix of both worlds had opened my eyes to many things indeed. And with a mix of a third world it really got me going to have the urge seeing the world even more.

What third world, you say? It’s Second Life. For a time during my college I was so free and I came upon this online 3d world community/game thing. And I was hooked, very hooked. There are so much cultural diversity in there that you can never explore it all. I tried, and I was amazed.

Second Life showed me that the world is not as simple as what the media wants us to see. There are so much other subcultures that we can never know from the TV or radio. There are the furries, the Goreans, the steampunks, the goths, the adult scenes, the nekos. There are so much room for experimental developments, so many groups to look into, so wide the spectrum that I was overwhelmed initially.

Then it came to me that the world is really much larger than what we think it is. There are so much to see, so much to learn, the only way to get through all of it is to embrace the differences.

Perhaps this is why I am so open to talk about just anything, because I have a real high threshold for shock factor and differences.

Classical music, the alternative music today

Whenever I tell people that I like classical music, they will give me the look of detest, “Oh that’s some boring crap!” or the trying-very-hard-to-feel-the-same, “Oh I like classical music too! The violins and what’s that thing again… flute? Yeah, the blowy thing. I like that.”

The thing is that many young people don’t listen to classical music anymore, because it is difficult music. It is harder to relate to compared to those disco beats or Top 40 tunes. It has a much more complicated form and if you’re not used to it, you’re prone to fall asleep because of its relaxing effects.

I like relaxing music. Classical music does that for me, and I love it. They may be difficult to catch at first, but if you spend some time reading about it you will appreciate them much more. After all, classical music had always have the dramatic effect that can bring you so much up and down. Listen to these music here, here and here. Each of those music are written 100 years apart, they still are really good today, aren’t they?

Classical music is evergreen, because they’re the essence of history. They reflect the spirit of their times, and can still reflect the spirit of our times today. We love classical music because of it’s power to bring joy and excitement just about anyone, as long as you open your ears to it. Really, try it. ;)

I Love My Sex

Grey is with Sugar. Well not really a sweet mouth!

In case you haven’t notice by now, I love my sex. I’m very vocal about my porns and I am not afraid to share about sex. I guess one of the reasons why there is that I think that sex is a very human thing, yet most of us are afraid to talk about it due to our Confucianism teachings (see above!).

Sex makes us all happy. And let’s be honest, the word “sex” itself makes you feel curious already. All of us are attracted to sex because of it’s status of being a taboo in our society, it’s like a secret interest that is not so secret anymore.

This blog is made to be an open conversation to be just about anything. I bring up many interesting and sometimes controversial issues so that we can share ideas. And sex is part of it. And I love it. ;)

The Net Is My Life

Without Internet, I will probably rot and die in minutes. I spend almost 15 hours of my time online every day, well partly because of work, but it is pretty much my love and passion.

There are so much to watch on YouTube, so much to share on Facebook, so much to explore on StumbleUpon, and so much to read just every else. Call me addicted if you must, but if addicted is what I am being coined to enrich my life with, I’m really proud and willing to be an addict.

Grey loves his food! Really!!

Oh no, that doesn’t mean that I don’t have a life. I go out with friends regularly, I enjoy a walk at the mall, I enjoy traveling, I enjoy great food at great places, I enjoy dating with my boy. Just anytime other than that, being online is what I will do.

Thats why I love my broadband too. I probably use it to the max. Without it, I’ll probably sleep till it’s there.

And online is where you can find me!

Grey trying to act cute. Fail!

If what I have written here is not enough for you to feed your curiousity, well you can always catch me on the Net!

My net nickname is Conancat, it’s a mixture of my love for both Detective Conan and cats back in my secondary school days. Apparently it had become so catchy that I decided to keep it forever. ;)

So thats why you will find that my Facebook, Twitter and Plurk all goes by the name of Conancat.

Even my MSN has conancat on it! Like, conan_cat87@hotmail.com!

So does my Gmail, conancat@gmail.com, and of course the new Google Wave, conancat@googlewave.com.

So hey, lets not be strangers, shall we? :) Let’s talk, like, really talk!

Add me anywhere above, or even better, everywhere above, and buzz me to drop me a tell me more about you! :D

Of course, that doesn’t mean you should save the comments for yourself neither. Drop a comment below, and tell me what you think about me! :)

There’s always some magic about theater plays that you can never catch in the movies.

Perhaps it’s the intimacy of the stage, that you feel so close to the actors and you can relate to them so deeply as the play progresses.

Perhaps it’s the script and plot, that it is so concise to portray a story with the bare minimum, each dialogue is so well written that you get absorbed without the need for close-up cameras.

Perhaps it’s the environment and atmosphere, where the lighting and music are carefully cued and arranged that it makes you feel much deeper than watching people on screen.

Whatever it is, I’m a sucker for theater plays lately, and The Swimming Instructor is sucking me deeper into the whirl of theater arts.

It has everything, great actors, great script, carefully chosen yet minimal props made this intimate play at KLpac’s Pentas 2 a marvelous success.

Hours had passed since the end of the show, and I’m still lingering on each scene, trying to catch the layers of plots and morals embedded in every moment.

The Swimming Instructor

90 Minutes Of Sexuality Crisis

It was stated very clearly at the door notice, that this play is ADULT THEMED lasting 90 minutes without break.

And they really mean it. The 90 minutes flowed seamlessly without any breaks, intervening between our three heroes and heroine on the topics of love, friendship, sex and sexuality. The play is written by Desmond Sim, and he’s a genius to mash everything together into an intimate yet humorous play that explores the values mentioned with a very human touch.

He is a swimming instructor that is an object of affection by many, including this guy and this girl. He is floating in a pool of his past, torn apart and confused by a surprise, a change, a bad decision. And he tries to find an answer to stop floating in the past.

She is an aggressive rich little princess that wants things her way. She is loud and forward, actively pushing and making chances to get near to the swimming instructor that once helped her in the past. She does everything to get him. She wants him oh so badly.

He is a smart and intelligent guy that follows plans and makes decisions systematically. When it comes to love when systems and intelligence doesn’t work, he’s afraid to make a move. He sits and waits, and lets fate decide if the chance will ever fall on him.

Yes, there are homosexual elements involved. Gays, start marching! :P

The Swimming Instructor

Chances And Decisions

“Even if there is one chance…One chance that you can love, you must take it. Because the little chances we waste can change our whole life” -Guan, The Swimming Instructor, taken from Dustyhawk

Some people pray very hard and wait for chances to come on them. Some people fight very hard to get the chances. Some people did not expect the chances to come at all.

But what would you do when you have a chance, and how do you know if you’ve made the right decision?

As humans, we are prone to making bad decisions. And by chance, by vigor or by fate we will eventually be presented with crossroads that we’ll have to pick a route that will change everything. It’s devastating to be forced to make a big decision in a short spur of time, or even in split seconds.

You will never know if you’ve picked the right way, but one thing for sure, if you don’t grab the chances in your hands the moment it falls, the chances are you will regret it later.

What, do you expect to read more about the story here?

Well, fat chance! Go watch the show and find out yourself, hey, there are still 2 more shows coming up, you can still make time to catch them!

The Swimming Instructor
12 December 2009 (Sat) 8.00pm,
13 December 2009 (Sun) 3.00pm
RM38, free seating @ Pentas 2, KLpac

Find out more about the show at the Facebook Event Page here, or read about it directly from one of the actors himself, Niki Cheong over here and here!

If you’re into theater arts, if you love a good show, if you like some sexual innuendos, if you like to see a half-naked hunk on stage, if you love a lot of good laughs… Too many reasons to get your ass there!

Go and be enlightened, like me! :D

P/s: If you really want some spoilers on the plot, here’s the place to go! You’ve been warned! ;)

It is without doubt that each and every one of us humans are unique and special.

And because you’re so unique and special, there must be some differences in interests between you and your parents, your friends, your lover, your colleagues, and everyone else in the world.

There may be a lot, or there may be little. Some may upset you, some may excite you.

The challenge is, how to embrace the differences and make it something that excites you, not otherwise.

Three Different Girls Jumping

We Have Different Tastes

I have a friend who lives in UK. He’s enthusiastic about law studies, works as an IT support, an ex-trumpet player and loves jazz music.

He works night shifts and with his nocturnal vampiric times he chats with me about a lot of things. Indeed, he is very different from me. I’m a designer, a piano player, loves classical music, and I know nuts about law.

But we embraced our differences. We know that we both have different interests, and we both are eager to learn from each other. I always ask him about jazz music and he’s very willing to share. In fact after reading my blog on The Girl From Ipanema he recommended me some Bossa Nova classics that I couldn’t stop listening to.

Empathize

When I introduced Philippe Jaroussky singing “L’Heure Exquise” a few days ago, he listened and replied very honestly to me,

“I don’t know much about classical music, and I don’t get guys singing in high voice, but I guess it must be a pretty big thing for a 15yo.”

Yes, it’s that simple. He knows our difference, talked about the difference, and tried to find a middle ground both parties can stand and agree upon.

That, my friend, is the golden steps to empathize with your partner and embrace the differences between you two.

But I Can’t Stand It! Or Is It So?

There are rarely any really bad interests out there. Unless we’re talking about your boyfriend being a hardcore alcoholic or your girlfriend is an obsessed card-swipper, then embracing the differences may not be a good idea.

Otherwise, if you’re not a football fan and your friend is, why not try to understand him and ask him about it? Chances are he is very enthusiastic and very willing to tell you all about it.

Same goes to your Hong Kong drama-chaser friend. If you talked to her about the latest drama (ungh, the Chinese palace politics!), even you may have not watched it before she’ll probably brief you from episode 1 until the finale. Just give her an hour or two.

Interests are cultivated. That applies to your interests too. If they learned to love it, there must be something facinating about it. And it’s up to you to find out.

Learn From Each Other

While we all have at least a certain level of ego in us, usually it’s not a good thing to keep them high. Put your ego down and open your mind. We make friends, and especially lovers, to learn from each other.

You can see friends or lovers who have been together for years probably has more similarities than differences. I think it’s safe to say many of those similarities are not inherited, but cultivated. And they embraced the differences to make it that long.

So, what have you learned from your friend today?

That’s a confession one of my friends made the other day, when he came over to ask me how to burn MP3s into a CD.

I was shocked. How can someone not know how Mona Lisa or to burn a CD at this time of age?

After my initial shock, I was even shocked by my own ignorance.

Initially he came over to ask me to help him burn some MP3s he gotten from his friend into a CD so he can listen to them in a car. A good selection of classic Kenny G, Celine Dion, Jim Brickman, Boyzone.

He asked me, “Can a laptop copy MP3s into a CD?”

“Yes of course! As long as your laptop has a CD burner and the right software.”

“Oh… what’s a burner?”

I was baffled and paused for like 15 seconds before I answered.

As I was burning the CD for him, I showed him the wonders of Facebook and the many funny and interesting videos shared there. He doesn’t have a Facebook account, because he doesn’t know what is it all about.

“Oh, I’ve always wanted to ask…”
“Yea?”
“Who’s that lady in that picture? I’ve always seen here at a lot of places.”

Monalisa

I froze for a second.

“You… don’t know who she is?”
“Uhh… no?”
“She’s Mona Lisa!”
“Who?”
“This the famous painting by Leonardo Da Vinci! Don’t you know who Da Vinci is?”

“Uhh… who?” He was smiling sheepishly as I raised my voice.

“Da Vinci! Didn’t you read the Da Vinci Code book as it was the craze for the past few years?”
“Uhh… I think I’ve seen the movie poster before.”

I spent the next 30 minutes explaining to him who is Da Vinci, what the Mona Lisa is all about, some trivia about the difference of comic, illustration and art, and how to burn a CD.

For a moment, I was really shocked. He’s the same age as me. The computer craze generation. How can there be anyone who doesn’t know how to burn a CD at my age?

Then my conscience hit me. He is the same age as me, but we led very different life. I grew up in the city, he grew up in the country. He came to the city to learn pastry after his high school graduation, as he said, the school was all punks and he has no real good memories from it. He worked in a pastry materials distribution warehouse as a product tester, and turned to direct selling for more income.

He knows everything about spirulina and his vitamins and his cooking wares. He knows how to do facial, how to keep your face and skin good, how to live a healthy living with good food habits and good supplement intake. He knows how to talk and how to sell. He doesn’t know what is Restaurant City or FarmVille. And no, he doesn’t know how to burn a CD. Nor Mona Lisa, because he never read about her. Or anything that involves reading. His language of communication is Chinese, and that’s about it.

That’s the world of my friend. His world Now, who am I to judge him?

We all have to bear in mind, we’re all part of the luckier ones in the world. There’s probably 3/5 of the world’s population that has never touched a mouse before.

Well, on the other hand, they may have lived with mice and see them running around every day, while we squeal and shriek when we see one like every few months.

When he left that day, he thanked me for telling him who is Mona Lisa and teaching him a lot of things with that happy-go-lucky classic smile of his. I smiled back, closed the door, and smacked my head.

I shouldn’t have raised my voice in surprise. Who am I to judge him?

“Being gay” is a joke. Having a gay friend is fun.

Really being a gay, now that’s real fun.

No kidding. There’s a whole YouTube series dedicated to how fun being gay really is. Bring on the gay, babeh!

gay adj
1. Of, relating to, or having a sexual orientation to persons of the same sex.
2. Showing or characterized by cheerfulness and lighthearted excitement; merry.
3. Bright or lively, especially in color: a gay, sunny room.
4. Given to social pleasures.
5. Dissolute; licentious.

Well, the dictionary definition says it even. So being gay must be of real excitement, real cheerfulness, real happy, real gay, isn’t it?

Really, when you make fun of someone being gay, it’s real fun for you as you laugh at their gayness. But when you find out one of your friends being a real gay, there’s where the real fun begins.

Gays will always cheer up even the most depressed.

Gays will gay up even the most boring conversations.

Gays can have the most exquisite, refined, flamboyant or alternative tastes in everything that you can admire or laugh about. And they’re proud of it.

Gays can turn a straight to be gay. Ouch, that isn’t really a fun, is it?

Questionably Gay?

Seriously, I find gay life is fun. The ladies are more open to joke around with the gays, while the lads while might seem reluctant at first, still thinks of you with another guy, sans the man-to-man-naughty-funs or discussion about cars and football, plus the advice seeking in fashion and love life.

It’s not as bad as you think, really. As long as the gay and friends respects limits and understand each other mutually, that’s all that is needed for a happy gay life.

After all, gays can really be the best friends you’ll ever have!