I was talking with my friends about change. Apparently, change seems to be quite a controversial topic, in some cases. No matter if it’s a change of place, a change of environment, perhaps a change of career or relationship status, there is always one element something that is taken into consideration:

Time.

Apparently, a change is waste of time. Not the time for the process of changing itself, but the time spent on the activity before the change.

It is as if that if you made a change, whatever that you have done before is just wasted down the drain and the change is “not worth it”.

Or is that really the case?

Image by TW Collins on Flickr

When do you need change?

Change comes in two forms: by fate, or by will. Usually the former is uncontrollable, if it happens, it happens, and you can’t do anything about it. But the latter is a decision that is in our hands, that we can choose if we want it to happen.

And usually it’s a tough decision indeed.

If we are to choose if we want to change, it is usually out of desperation, tiredness, or boredom. It is ultimately a loss of interest in something that only then, the idea of change comes to mind.

However, apparently, the longer the time we have invested in the subject, the harder it is for us to change.

If you have been dating for the guy for 5 years, and even though you have gone so tired of his feats you are afraid of change, because it would be a waste of what you have done for him.

If you have been working in the company for 8 years, and a change of career will probably bring new prospects and new developments, the fear of change strikes when the sense of insecurity and the idea of adaptation to a new environment makes you feel even more tired of your job now.

If you have started studying the course for a few semesters and you find that it is not something you would like to do for life, but you are afraid to switch your course because of the time and money you have paid to get this far.

But, seriously, what is better for you? Being stuck in a bad state, or taking that step to make things happen for better?

Making that step to change for better

Sometimes when we are afraid to make that change, we will just sit back and pray that everything else will change to be what we want it to be.

But as the old saying goes, “If you can’t change the others, you’ll have to change yourself.”

If you want to have a better life, make that step. Time is an irrelevant measure, because if today isn’t good, tomorrow is not likely to be better. Of course I’m not encouraging you to throw your resignation letter just because you had a bad day at work, it’s an analogy, well you know what I mean. :P

Observe for a period of time before the change. And when you’re sure that things will not get better, go for it.

It doesn’t matter if things will get better or worse, most importantly you have made that step to change what was not good before.

If it gets better, congratulations, you’ve made the right choice!

If it gets worse, congratulations too, it’s time for another change!

Change, anyone?

So, are you considering making that change now? ;) Or are you still in doubt, weighting the consequences and the “price”?

Well, I admit, that statement is an exaggeration. But really, just Google the word “how to be famous” and you have millions of websites and spamsites dedicated to “help you grow famous”.

This post is NOT a guide to teach you how to become a famous person, no, I don’t know how to do that because I’m NOT famous. But here’s an exploration of why being famous can be good.

You should know by now there are plenty of stories to hear on this blog. Here’s another one. ;)

Art, or fart?

My last post on Hyperminimalism Writing had gotten some pretty interesting comments. Many commented that it sounds like a Tweet or how things is nicer to be kept short and simple, but here’s one that caught my attention:

Sounds more like a riddle to me…or…well…the author is just too plain lazy. :p

No deny to that, really. We can’t say that he’s wrong, because to everyone of us with the average eye and mind, it does sound like crap and the author is freaking lazy to come up with crap.

But, lets make an assumption that Bill Gates one day say, “I like Hyperminimalism.” One single word will result in speculation across the net with thousands of tweets and retweets every minute scrutinizing the sentence from head to tail.

The Fountain

Almost one hundred year ago, a man submitted a urinal to an arts exhibition and requested for it to be exhibited. He named the urinal as “The Fountain“, and his rationale behind the artwork is on Dadaism philosophy, which disregards traditional notions of art and calling his Fountain “found art”.

It was rejected.

But that doesn’t stop from it launching Marcel Duchamp into fame. His Dada movement peers were angered by the rejection, and instead of making Marcel a fool of the time, he got famous as an avant-garde which made a major contribution in the 20th century arts movment.

The point is, if Duchamp did not have the network of friends and the level of fame he has around his friends at the art scene as a Post-Impressionist artist, he would not have survived the attack as he would be so lack of supporters. With a bit of fame and networking, it’s different.

You know what an editorial said about why Duchamp’s The Fountain is so important?

“Whether Mr Mutt made the fountain with his own hands or not has no importance. He CHOSE it. He took an article of life, placed it so that its useful significance disappeared under the new title and point of view – created a new thought for that object.”

Well, let’s not care about how that contributes to the art scene and how is that affecting the art philosophy today.

Our focus here is Duchamp’s fame: if it wasn’t because of Duchamp’s fame before, nobody could have given a shit about what he did, let alone defend Duchamp’s feats. Enough said.

So, do you want to be famous now?

Or do you already want to be famous? ;)

Today if you have a very famous blog or Tweet, you are pretty much guaranteed a good living from all the advertising offers or endorsements or free iPhones and Nexus One being given out for you to test. Not to mention you’ll probably have a few thousand followers watching your back, tweeting (pun intended) about your good moves and clattering about your bad ones.

Famous Spiderman quote, “With great power comes great responsibility.” But oh, power is something so hard to resist.

With the Internet and today’s development in social networking, being famous is a matter of strategy, time, and of course, luck. But I am not going to teach you how to, because I am not famous neither, and without the fame and authority whatever I said does not weight as much as what the people at Mashable said. ;)

Do you have anything to say about people trying to be famous? Or what’s your take on today’s fight for fame?

We’ve talked about maximizing your strengths on the previous post, now what do we do with your weaknesses?

We all have our bad times. Or perhaps some of us are already born with the certain disadvantages that put us a notch below the others. But actually, who is it that is there to determine what is normal or success? And how do we weight ourselves, is it from your heart, or is it from how others see you?

After watching this talk by Aimee Mullins on TEDs, I guess she gave us a very simple but powerful answer.

“It is not so much about overcoming adversity as it is opening ourselves to it, embracing it. Grappling with it. Maybe even dancing with it. Perhaps as we see adversity as something natural, consistent and useful, we’re less burdened by the presence of it. “

Dancing with adversity, making it your partner. Now that’s some new idea that we all can use.

Aimee Mullins: A Living Miracle

Image courtesy of Rams Sports Performance

Aimee Mullins was born without fibulae in both legs. In other words, she had to amputate both legs off when she was 1 year old, and theoretically she will have to live on a wheelchair for the rest of her life.

That’s what the doctors think.

And of course, as of all stories of all great people in this world, she did not buy that idea and made a miracle out of her adversity. She learned to walk using prosthetic legs by the age of two, and went on to do all what other “normal” kids will do — walk, swim, play, and run.

Oh yes, she can run really well. With her specially designed prosthetic legs she had set World Records on 100 meter, 200 meter and the long jump during the 1996 Atlanta Olympics. No, she did not compete with the other “handicapped” group, she competed with the “normal” bunch who had meat on both sides of the legs, just like you and me.

Oh, instead you’re wondering why she looks so pretty and hot, she did model for Alexander McQueen back in the late 90s. Yep, she’s a model. A hot one at that.

And that is determination. And of course, she did what she preached in this video: to embrace your weaknesses and dance with it.

I am a huge fan of TEDTalks, and this video is another reason why you should watch them.

“The Opportunity Of Adversity”

Accepting And Embracing Your Weaknesses

Well, I’m sure not every one of you are patient enough to sit through the 22 minutes of the video. Let me just summarize the story for you here.

If you have a weakness, or at bad times, accept it to be part of you, embrace it and turn it into an opportunity to do great things.

A lot of us know that we have our own problems. It may be a physical, mental or spiritual problem. And a lot of us chose to just nod our heads at it, and decide to tuck them under the bed or the old dusty chest of the unknown in our hearts and hope we’ll never see them again.

Wrong.

Running away from your problems will not make them go away. They are still there, and they will be back to haunt you no matter how hard you try to hide them.

And if the problems won’t go away, why not just accept and embrace it, and make it a part of you to be proud of?

I personally have problems of my own too. I have been living with the pain of arthritis for the past 15 years, and still counting. I do admit that sometimes I will feel that I can’t achieve what many others can due to my own problems, mostly physically, but I know that I can excel in other parts of life if I work hard (and maybe smart) enough.

Aimee Mullins achieved what many has deemed “impossible” and became a living motivation for all of us. Now, I am passing on the motivation love to you. :)

Turning “Disable” To “Poss-able”

At the end of the video, Aimee shared her version of the word “Disable”, different from that from the dictionary:

Disable, (verb)
To crush a spirit, to withdraw hope, to deflate curiousity, to promote an inability to see beauty, to deprive of imagination. To make abject.

Ant. To make poss-able.

Someone with problems is not disabled until you crush their hope. And you are not disabled until you have lost hope.

The day you accepted yourself as a whole, the day you have gained so much more. Perhaps more than many others in this world will ever find, because everything about you, including your weaknesses and problems, are special to your own. Keep them.

Lets face it, we all live in an imperfect world. And in an imperfect world nobody’s perfect. When nobody’s perfect, there is no such thing as equality, because we are all too different from one another.

That is, in fact, the beauty of nature.

And lets face it, we all have our strengths and weaknesses. It’s not just our strengths or talents that determine how successful are you. Opportunities come and go, it’s also a matter of how well you can utilize your talents when the opportunities come to you.

There is a Chinese saying, “to be successful you need the right time, the right place, and the right people”. To put it simply, if you want to be good, you need to do the right thing at the right time, right place and with the right people around you.

Here’s the catch. You have your strengths and weaknesses. The trick is to capitalize your strengths and talents to the max, find ways to fix your weaknesses, and when you’ve done your part, you can just leave the rest to fate.

Image by felipebrito on Flickr

Always Be Prepared

As humans we can only control so much. We may try to meet the right people and source for the right place, but the right time is often out of our control. And who knows what Fate can bring you to, perhaps a better or worse state. You will never know when the opportunity will come to you, because fate weaves and interweaves in such manner that some of us manage to catch them on the spot, while some of us missed the opportunity because “we’re not ready yet”.

There’s also a Chinese saying, “you prepare off the stage for 10 years for a 3 minutes performance on stage”. If you don’t want to miss any opportunities because “you’re not ready”, then you have to prepare yourself for the war, for the stage.

There is nothing more important to be prepared mentally and physically when the opportunity comes. You may think that the war or the performance only lasts for a few minutes, but it is always the split second that you make your decisions, that you “do the right thing” that makes the difference.

Image by felipebrito on Flickr

Be Really Good At What You’re Good At

You know what you are good at, and you know what you’re not. If you want to be recognized by what you are good at (and not the other way round), you have to be good at it. As in, really good. You read up books, you go for trainings, you research and learn, you do it again and again until you’re really good at it.

So that when the time comes, when fate presents you with the opportunity, you will not miss it and do a great performance, to fight a great war, so that it can launch you to another level of success.

Of course, if you want it the other way round, you can continue to sulk in what you’re bad at and be really good at what you’re bad at. Then you’re pretty much prepared for failure. :)

Or you can fix your weaknesses and reduce them to affect you as as little as possible. As you know that your weaknesses cannot be removed totally, you can focus on your strengths to make them better, but not let your weaknesses pull you down.

Capitalize your talents, then the time will come

Eventually, your time will come. As long as you keep yourself open to opportunities, and as long as you keep yourself prepared, you know that one day you will do a good show, fight a good war.

One thing God is great at, is that He always give us chances to succeed. It is up to us if we want to grip onto the chances and use it to the max to yield great success.

It doesn’t matter if others are better than you. What matters more is how good you’ve done your part when you’re supposed to be doing it. And that makes a difference between a good person, and a great person.

So, do you think that you’re always prepared for a good war or a good show? :)

As I said, fate weaves and interweaves in a manner out of our grasps. My life has been going up and down pretty much lately, so sorry guys if I haven’t been active on the blogosphere. I will be back on track real soon, I promise!

First of all, I have to apologize for my lack of updates and I have been slacking off at reading your blogs. Busy with work and life, my bad at that!! Sorry!

This morning I have heard from the radio station, there was this community message thing done by OneFM from time to time to promote different human values. This time it’s about trust.

The setting was pretty typical, a girl gives her friend something to do, and asks for the progress. The friend reassures that everything is in control, and the girl starts to worry that the details are not done well enough, things are that she must do everything right or they might lose the job and this and that.

The friend listens to her worries for a while and when she couldn’t take it, she interrupts, “You’ve passed the job to me, then you should trust me to do the job well!”

Exactly. Have you ever ask yourself, how much do you trust your friends, family or colleagues, and do you trust them enough?

Image @Denise Lamby on Flickr

I’m sure that a lot of us work in a team or together with other people a lot of times. Unless you’re a lone ranger then you might not have to deal with anyone else, but then there must be some time that you have to cooperate and work with others to get some things done.

It may be that project you want to pitch for the company, that daily admin job of the office, that wedding you’re going to organize, that Chinese New Year chores you want to start working on with your family, or that holiday trip you’re planning with your friends.

Humans are social animals. We can only get so much done by ourselves, that’s why we need the help of others. And when we need the help of others, we have to trust them to be able to help us.

Lack of confidence is annoying

There’s nothing more annoying than asking help from someone then not trust them enough to do the job. Well it doesn’t matter if you are forced to be in a team or if you asked them for help, but as long as you’re working together, you should trust them.

Because most of the time they know what they’re doing before even taking on the task. This shows that they’re confident to do the job, so why are you not confident in them?

If they’re professionals, you should trust them even more because they know what to do better than you.

If they’re just as clueless as you, you should trust them to be able to make good enough decisions.

If they’re not as competent as you, you should trust them to make some progress and guide them along the way, not doubting and dismissing their thoughts and actions.

Relationships are built on trust

Of course, being overly confident and trusting too much can sometimes lead to disappointment. But really, if you don’t give at least a minimum standard of trust and be an ass trying too hard to get things right your way, you will end up hurting the job and the relationship more than being any real help.

Relationships build on trust. It’s only through trusting someone that we be open to each other and form a great relationship, to be great friends or great family or great colleagues. To gain trust you need to prove yourself to be trustworthy, but you have to do the most basic thing first too.

Learn to trust. :)

Do you trust your friends and family enough? Or are you one of the worry-warts that think too much? ;)

Well after pondering for a few days I’ve been thinking what else interesting can I write about after my Thailand trip. It was all shopping, food, night life, and everything is just as any other trip.

And I’m sure too much of food porn and shopping showoffs will make you think that I’m an asshole.

So instead of talking about those materialistic achievements and how my waist have grown three inches after my Bangkok trip, I looked back at my tweets during my time in Bangkok and I’ve found this:

I saw a secondary schoolboy doing maths homework with his iPhone, his girlfriend next to him at the foodcourt of Siam Paragon.

A companion of mine commented when he saw this during the trip, “It’s not just about the efficiency of the work, it’s also about the style of how you work!”

So really, how true is that?

Yep, he’s a secondary school boy, 15, or 16 at most, flipping and tinkering around his iPhone while writing his maths answers onto the textbook. While his girlfriend is using her brains most of the time, she takes a peep whenever she gets a chance.

All in a high class shopping mall’s food court, Siam Paragon, which you can compare to our Kuala Lumpur’s Pavilion shopping mall.

That really leaves me pondering.

So you have a normal calculator and you have the iPhone at hand. If given the choice, most of us will choose the iPhone because it’s more efficient.

Or is it?

You can click on the buttons just as good as you click on a normal calculator. But clicking on an iPhone makes you feel better, doesn’t it? The eye candy, the swoosh and swirls and the scrolls and fades, and ooh not to mention the stares of jealousy and envy when people walk around you. That can make you feel real good.

So you can make phone calls and send sms with just any cheap handphone. Why choose an iPhone or Satio?

So you can cook just any dish just as good with a cheap Ikea non-stick pan. Why get a Buffalo Pan?

So you can always get the help of your brother or sister or your wife or husband to help you relieve the pain at your back with some good massage. Why get an Osim massage chair?

So you can just get a simple laptop at a cheap price at the store. Why get a Lenovo or HP or Dell?

Because really, no matter how much you want to deny it, style does play a role in your purchase decisions, because working with style and doing things with style makes you feel good.

So much for our rational decision making, hmm?

But then, this is what drives the consumerist society around. The need of luxury for self-realization and a reaffirmation of self values.

Do you agree that we not only strive to work efficiently, we want to work stylishly as well? And sometimes, even efficiency is compromised, we just plain wanna look stylish!

Hmm, excuse me while I go drool at the Google’s new phone Nexus One. Damn it’s so cool, I wanna get one!

How do you make your decisions?

Most of us would like to think that we are rational creatures that go through and speculate each of our choices as well as the chances and benefits before making our day to day decisions.

That includes which tomato to put into the basket, what to eat for lunch, where to watch the next movie, which car to buy, who to sell the house to and which company to buy over.

But, are we really that rational as we think we are, or are there other forces that pushes us to make our decisions otherwise that are actually irrational, yet we rationalize our decisions to make it seem rational?

Sounds confusing? Well watch this video by Dan Ariely, a world-famous behavioral economist and the author of Predictably Irrational, in this intereting TedTalk about “Are we in control of our decisions?”.

Really. Give this post 20 minutes, and perhaps you will make better decisions next time. Or maybe you think will be. ;)

Dan Ariely: Are we in control of our decisions?

How do you make your decisions?

I’m looking for a pair of sport shoes. I’ve been looking around for quite some time now, going through stores and as usual, there are the usual Nike and Adidas fight. Why Nike and Adidas? Well because all the advertisements tell me that they’re probably have the best sport shoes out there. All the other brands rarely advertise to tell me how good their shoes are so I assume they’re not.

So I’ve went to both concept stores with a couple of friends. With each batch of friend I go with they will tell me different stories. Some tell me Adidas last longer because of the better quality, some tell me that Nike is better because it has the Nike+ function. Some go through the technology of Nike’s bouncy shoes while the other scrutinize the quality of Adidas shoes from tip to toe with me.

I looked through all the shoes and I listened to all the stories. I’ve nodded and kept all the advices in mind (or at least I’ve tried to).

Then I saw these pair of shoes at Nike on the shelf display. Lime green. Futuristic look. Mmm, I like that color.

“But Adidas shoes last longer! My friend got a Nike shoe and within a year it broke!”
“Uhm… But it’s the latest technology from Nike that promises it lasts forever.”
“But it doesn’t last! Adidas make longer-lasting shoes!”
“But it has the bouncy technology thingy and the Nike+ thingy!”
“But look at the price! It’s double the price of the Adidas shoe!”
“Higher price means better quality!”

I will find a hundred and one reasons to defend my decision. Actually I just happen to like the color and style of the shoe. All the advertisements gave me more excuse to buy the shoe that I have chose based on my irrational decision, so that I can rationalize my decision to my Adidas lover friends.

What, why do you think advertisements exist? They aid in making your irrational purchase decision rational so that you will buy their product, that’s why.

You’ve probably already made a decision before you think about it

As Dan Areily have probably got you convinced if you watched the above video, we make irrational decisions every day. Our decisions are affected by our limited cognitive abilities as well as the information that we’re bombarded every day.

And through our intuition our mind makes the first decision before you even think about it. As you speculate over the decision you might or might not deny the initial decision, but many intuitive decisions go through our mind are affected by the surrounding, not our rationale.

It may be at the time that the surroundings made the product stand out and look more prominent to you. It may because that you just happen to like something green that day. It may because that it smells like your bed thus you’re attracted to it. Well they aren’t really “valid” reasons if you come to look at it from a rational mind, but it happens.

Next time when you decide which chocolate to buy at the mart, well, stop and think about how do you think of the chocolate and why do you want to buy this chocolate.

You can come up with thousands of reasons why this chocolate is better than the others. Rational answers. Lower calories, more milk, more nuts maybe. But probably it has just attracted you under the right lighting conditions, placed in an eye catching position or it has your favorite color. All these things “nudge” our mind to make us choose that chocolate over the other.

And once we’ve made our decision we’ll probably stick with it, because we think that it’s a rational decision.

Same goes to “why I want to buy this car”, “why I want to buy this shirt”, “why I want to buy this laptop”, “why I want to get this drink”.

There, an irrational decision. ;) Why do you think that chocolate companies pay so much to have “premium placement” at the supermarket?

Oh and that love-at-first-sight? It’s just the lighting, really.

So, how rational are you?

How much time do you spend to think about your everyday decisions, or do you just go with the first answer that come to your mind because you know that eventually, that is the answer that you’re going to go with anyway?

Are you the type of person that believes in intuition, or do you believe in your “rationale” instead?

How do you judge someone? By the talent, or by the race or gender?

As much as we would like to think that we’re open-minded enough to judge people by their abilities rather than the gender or race, but the fact is when I tell you someone is an Indian women and you will have the stereotype of the person being a housewife at a remote village rather than a manager of a well known company.

And now, picture yourself a 50 years old transgender American. What came to your mind? Think about it for 5 seconds and picture that.

Now I am about to tell you that she was once a child prodigy, and now a very talented pianist that won numerous awards and performs over 60 concerts a year today. Did you see that coming?

But Sara Davis Buechner did have a time when she was discriminated and lost most of her jobs when she came out as a transgender during the height of her career as David Buechner.

This is a story of a transgender pianist that made her way back to the stage and proud of it. Read on.

Sex Changes Everything?

Before you go on, just click play on the video below. If this is what Sara Davis Buechner is capable of doing, what happened in the 5 years after she undergone sex change operation and came out as a transgender at the age of 39?

Sara Davis Buechner performs Kouji Taku’s Variations on a theme of Poulenc

Think about it. Sara Davis Buechner had established herself as a reputable pianist for the past 39 years. New York Times called her “an extraordinary young artist” when she made her debut as David Buechner in the New York City debut. She had awed the crowd with her impeccable technique and virtuosity back then, and it was no doubt that her talent shined through the globe as she was performing 50 concerts a year.

Until the sex change. Then it dropped to 5 concerts a year, she couldn’t get a job applying as a lecturer at over 35 universities, and she succumbed to teaching children in a conservatory.

“A nice lady said, ‘Why teach here?’ I lied. I said, ‘I want to teach kids.’ I needed work.” [Sara] earned a third of what David had made 10 years earlier. — Anything He Can Do, She Can Do, New York Times

Anything He Can Do, She Can Do

Yes, it’s true. Whatever David Buechner can do, Sara Davis Buechner can do too. Her technique and skills did not miraculously drop as she undergone the sex change, so does her warmth and charm and stagecraft. They are all the same.

What had changed is the opinions of people towards her sexuality. What had changed is the double standards of people towards a man and a transgender. Well, I guess I don’t need to tell a long story about how the double standard works. You and I have all have all done it before, and I myself admit that I have been guilty of judging someone through their gender before as well.

Through The Help Of A Friend

Crossing The Concourse, a documentary of Sara Davis Buechner by New York Times

A friend of Sara, Carrie Feiner, started to manage her concerts and jobs in from August 2002. As Julliard classmates Carrie knew what Sara is capable of, and even as a mother of 4 kids she tried her best to help Sara get back on her feet. She encouraged Sara to apply for a job at University of British Columbia as a professor. After several interviews and master classes given, Sara had proven herself as being a capable educator and she got the job since, until now.

Carrie has also started to book Sara concerts. And she did well being a manager. As Sara began to perform around the world, critiques see the talent in Sara again. The reviews began to turn positive. Instead of judging Sara through the gender, they have recognized her virtuosity and skills, something she have never lost but only needed recognition.

“Buechner has it all — intelligence, integrity, and all-encompassing technical prowess.” (Tim Page, The New York Times)

“This was clearly pianist Sara Davis Buechner’s shining moment. She leapt and swayed and bobbed through this concerto as if riding a bucking bronco….an entertaining romp tailor-made for the virtuoso. The standing ovation for Buechner was well-earned.” (Peter Bates, Boston Fine Arts Reviews)

“Buechner’s performance had a beauty that might have taken even Mozart’s breath away.” (Joseph Banno, The Washington Post)

“This performance had everything – style, technique, taste and originality…each work was carefully chosen and struck a fine balance between accessibility and sophistication…Buechner made every phrase an event, placed every voice as if setting crystal on crushed velvet, and calculated every tempo fluctuation with keen dramatic timing.” (Philip Kennicott, New York Newsday)

As we end the story…

I can’t help but to ask the question again, do you judge someone by the talent, or the race or gender?

The story of Sara Davis Buechner had reminded me once again, not to judge by the latter, because real talent should not be bound by racial or gender stereotypes.

Stereotypes will only bind our mind, not talent.

Here’s more music from Sara Davis Buechner. And oh, they touch my heart oh so deeply.

My personal favorite! Must listen okay??

A showcase of her crazy skills. Now this is virtuosity!

Update: Singaporean readers look here! Sara Davis Buechner will be performing a recital at 10 Feb 2010 (Thurs) at Yong Siu Toh Conservatory of Music! I’m not sure if I am be able to catch her flying from KL down south to SG, but if you’re in SG, don’t miss it! This information is given by Sara herself, so you can be sure of its validity! ;) Thank you Sara for visiting this blog!

Have you ever met people who complains about how his BMW is not going pretty smooth lately when running at 150KM/H?

While you’re driving a 10 years old second hand Proton Saga?

The scenario isn’t exactly the same, but I have met people who loves to talk, complain, or if you want to put it nicely, share about their materialistic well-beings with people who have far worse scenarios than them.

It may seem like you’re sharing your stuffs with me to you, buddy, but in my ears it only sounds like you’re bragging.

It’s unlikely for rants to appear on this blog, but well I’ll make an exception this time. Take your brags to somewhere else for f**k’s sake, it’s pissing me off!

Image @Christian Yanchula on Flickr

You think that’s bad? It’s much better than what I have so f**k off!

Sometimes you just can’t stand people who complain so much about that one scratch on their iPhone or how she got that crack on her Louis Vuitton handbag, while you’re holding an ancient Nokia model or a bag you got from the market for RM10.

While you can try pretty hard to smile and acknowledge their pain or empathize with their problems, deep down you’re already cursing about this asshole that talks too much.

Let’s face it, money matters. It’s what drives the earth around. And while some people are born with a silver spoon stuck up in their mouth, many others have to work their ass away to afford even the smallest of luxury. Hell, some even struggle with the basic life commodity.

If you’re happen to be one of the lucky ones that are born with a silver spoon, congratulations. If you are that good that you can work to be one of the most successful and richest people around your age, congratulations. If you manage to get that shiny Alienware laptop or that Prada trenchcoat, congratulations to you too.

But don’t share or complain about it in front of people who are way far behind from your achievements, because in their ears it sounds more like bragging and boasting and blowing your own goddamn trumpet.

Dealing With Braggers

If you’re one of the less luckier ones who have met one of these holes (you know which hole I’m talking about), and you don’t want to be one of those hypocrites, there are a few ways to deal with them.

Smile and nod away. Just keep quiet but refuse to give your input on his problems (just because they are not yours). Eventually he will find you boring and stop talking about his stuffs.

Smile and say, “Hey, you have better stuffs than me, why are you still complaining?” Well that’s the truth, really. Most braggers will get the message and stop the sharing session already, but in case that still doesn’t work…

Tell him YOUR problems. Tell him how much you’ve spent on fixing that 12 years old car, how cheap you’ve gotten your bag from the night market, how cheap your laptop is with its lack of features, how bad your malfunctioning phone is with black and white screen.

That should do the trick. If they still have some conscience, they will stop talking about their problems and focus on yours instead. If they really just wanna brag, just walk away. You don’t need a hole like that to be your friend, do you?

Choose who to “share” with

If you really have a problematic BMW car or a scratched Louis Vuitton bag, choose who are you going to share your problem with. Most people who are much below your level in terms of materialistic sufficiency will find your words a sore, no matter how honestly you really want to share about your problems.

Find someone who is almost the same level or higher level than you. That means find someone who owns something of similar of what you have or even better, and ask them about their opinion. Finding someone who own something much worse or can’t afford it at all will get you branded as a bragger.

That includes your brother/sister and your best friends. You have no idea how much sourness that can be generated when you talk about money and luxury, no matter how close you are with them. You’re better off asking the advices of the more experts anyway, why make sad cases with your friends?

If you just simply wanna brag, well, you’re an asshole.

Have you met any braggers before?

A lot of them are doing it without noticing it, but some of them really are just bragging for the fun of it. Have you met any lately? How do you deal with them?

There are so much hype building on to the Christmas season. The whole world is talking about it, from the TVs to the ads to the radio to the Tweets and of course, all the blogs.

The hype builds itself like a bubble up since a month or two before Christmas, and it grows like a bubble going bigger and bigger.

And when Christmas finally came, POP, the bubble bursts in a day, and what’s left behind is party leftovers, unwrapped presents, an empty wallet, and to many, a void of loneliness and emptiness inside.

So that resulted in a lazy weekend, and even harder Monday blues, and if you’re really into Christmas, a sad month after recovering from the burnt wallet.

Like, ouch. What are we gonna do about it?

Hard Hit After Midnight

Most of our parties began on the 24th, during the Christmas eve. After midnight coundown, it’s Christmas, woohoo!!

Then our parties go on until 25th, the Christmas day. We had fun all day and all night, then when it hits midnight, Christmas is over. Some of us went on partying, but the sad thing is, it all eventually have to come to an end.

Then suddenly reality comes crushing down on us, that Christmas is over. What we’ve been looking forward to for 2 months is all over. As much as we wished for time to freeze and stop at that blissful moment of Christmas, time goes on, and life moves on.

Yup, time goes on, life moves on.

Spend, but spend wisely

It is said that Christmas is a world consumerism spree. There’s no reason to buy and spend oh so much on Christmas, other than just because, well, “It’s Christmas!”

It has become a trend to buy and shop and spend on Christmas time, because everyone says so. Even for non-Christians people buy and give gifts because that’s what the shopping malls ads and music are telling you to, “It’s Christmas, buy gifts and celebrate now!”

Well, that’s not exactly a bad thing, because giving is a gift by itself, but when you spend, spend wisely. Don’t go for the rush and use up all the cash until you have nothing left after the season, then the post-Christmas depression is gonna hit even harder.

“Oh gosh, I spent that much? I don’t even know!”

Party ends, but life goes on

The bad news is that as the party ends there’s plenty of crap to clean up, a bad hangover to deal with the next day, or worrying about the sticky make-ups and the oils that stayed in your hair from the barbeque. That adds up even more to the depression.

The good news is that no matter how shitty the party goes, you will still want to do it again next year.

And next year is something to look forward to.

To some of us who lives in a country with plenty of festivals to look forward to (yeah, Malaysia BOLEH!) we have always set our targets a few months prior to the event. It’s Christmas now, and Chinese New Year is already creeping up. Some of us has already made plans on what to do and where to party already.

“Alright, Christmas is over, now what’s the next party?!”

So instead of sulking in what had happened, look forward to the next best thing. Life is a giant playground by itself, so the fun never ends if you know where to find them.

Post-Christmas Blues, We’ll Get Over It!

The pictures from last-night’s party sure are real fun, aren’t they? So cherish them and upload them to Facebook and lets all have a laugh over it!

Laughter is the best medicine for everything, no? :)

So, what’s the next plan?! New Year party, anyone? :P

P/S: In case you haven’t notice this post is a conspiracy set to post my Christmas dinner pictures. You’ve been conned, wahaha!