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Your Dick Is The Strongest Data Pipe In The World

An entry on Reddit.com claims,

“A single sperm has 37.5MB of DNA information in it. That means that a normal ejaculation represents a data transfer of 1,587.5TB.”

Very surprising, isn’t it? And what’s even funnier are the replies!

I couldn’t resist, I just have to share!

So how much data have you transfered today?

The Maths Of Sperm Data

The human genome is about 3,120,000,000 DNA base pairs long, so half of that is in each spermatozoa. That gives us 1,560,000,000 base pairs in a single sperm cell.

Each of those base pairs can be an A-T bond or a G-C bond, and can be alignes in either direction. That means there’s four ways it can be aligned, and that can be represented in two bits of data:
00 = G 01 = C 10 = A 11 = T (an example)

Now, the average dude lets out between 50 and 500 million sperm with each go. Rough average saya that it’d probably be about 200 million, right? If we take all this information and combine it with the wonders of mathematics, we have (1.56 * 10^9) * (2.00 * 10^8). Do all the equational shit, and we have 6.24 * 10^17 bits transmitted in a single burst.

That’s 78,000 terabytes, in what amounts to half-minute-at-most event.

We could fit a digitized copy of the Library of Congress into your spooge. It’d only take about 20 terabytes.

So your dick has a higher bandwidth than any internet connection that ever existed, and is ever likely to exist anytime soon. Now, imagine a machine that used your saltshaker to surf the internet.

So how much data have you transfered today?

I can’t resist, I came across this page on the net and I just have to share. While the statement itself is an eye-opener, what’s even more hilarious are the replies they get!

Here are some classic ones:

“Ejaculations last about 5 seconds, so that means I can upload at 332TB/s. I am so awesome.”

“Connection uptime- 2 minutes, 4 seconds”

Does that mean my Fleshlight qualifies as a backup device?

Fleshlight as Backup Device?

“This means I have a 2 testicle RAID array”

“No. RAID 1 suggests a full mirror.
Each testicle holds billions of unique sperm. There is no scientific suggestion that each sperm has its mirror image clone in the other testicle.
Therefore, his nuts are configured in a JBOT configuration….Just a Bunch Of Testicles.”

I was running mine on RAID 0 for better performance but I busted a nut and now I ejaculate corrupted semen.

“So, that’s an enormous amount of packet loss then.
Or, a multiple redundant means to make sure there is at least one viable connection reaching the I/O port [although it's more an I than an O port].”

“It’s not packet loss. A large majority of it is received but most of it gets piped to /dev/null”

“Or a massive DDoS on a single peer.”

“Unfortunately, the packet loss rate is very near 100% and it takes approximately nine months to decrypt the data into something useful.”

“I’d argue that it takes 9 months to decrypt the data into something functional; it takes another few years before you can truly call it “useful”.
Unless you’re really really hungry.”

Thus The Baby Is Born!
Image @Eythor on Flickr

“Just to show you how inefficient the female body is in the best of conditions:
At the fastest, an egg can be fertilized in around 15 minutes.
Since it can only take one packet every 10 or so months (only one sperm gets to the egg, all others are redundant).
This translates in a download capacity of about 0.7 Bites per second (in a 10 month period of course).
As Moeri has already calculated, the average male here can upload at around 332TB/s.
Where it would get interesting is the comparison of processing speeds of both genders.”

“So does this make bukkakke a DDoS attack?”

“Yes. I believe a circle jerk also qualifies.”

“This is it, folks.
This is the idea, which has kept me virtually anonymous in America for the past 16 years. I have watched my crowds dwindle. I am going nowhere, and nowhere quick. But, for those of you who have children, I am sorry to tell you this, they are not special.
Wait! Hold on, I know some of you are going “what, what?” Let me just clarify: I know YOU think they’re special … ha ha ha! I’m aware of that. I’m just here to tell you, they’re NOT.
Ha ha ha ha! Sorry. Did you know that every time a guy comes he comes two hundred million sperm? One out of TWO HUNDRED MILLION – that load, we’re talking one load – connected. Gee, what are the fucking odds?
Do you know what that means? I’ve wiped nations off of my chest. With a grey gymsock. ENTIRE CIVILISATIONS HAVE FLAKED AND CRUSTED IN THE HAIR AROUND MY NAVEL!
I’ve tossed universes, in my underpants, whilst napping. BOOM! A Milkyway shoots into my jockeyshorts. UUUUUUNGH … WHAT’S FOR FUCKING BREAKFAST!?””

Oh, men are such powerful creatures!

A: 1. The human cell contains 75 MB of genetic information
A: 2. A sperm 37.5 MB.
A: 3. In a milliliter, we have 100 million sperms.
A: On average, one ejaculation releases 2.25 ml in 5 seconds.
A: Using basic math we can compute the bandwidth of the human male penis as:
A: (37.5MB x 100M x 2.25)/5 = (37,500,000 bytes/sperm x 100,000,000 sperm/ml x 2.25 ml) / 5 seconds = 1,687,500,000,000,000 bytes/sec = 1,687.5 TerraBytes/sec
B: Sweet
B: DDoS attack!!!
A: a bukkake would probably be a DDoS then
A: 11 men would give 17 petabytes/sec
Comment: ##programming on FreeNode

http://qdb.us/262095

“Hold on… if the human genome is ~700MB, how comes a sperm cell only contains 37.5MB of data?
Edit: Okay, very funny. But I am asking a serious question here.”

“Winrar?”

“tar.giz more likely”

“And the porn used to help create that DNA information was a couple of megs…that’s some efficient code, I’d say.”

Going back to our question…

How much data have you transferred today?

Or even, how much packet loss have you experienced today? :P