Violence Against Women Campaigns Are Wrong
November 30, 2009 | 10:59 pm ShareNo, I’m not getting sexist here. In fact, I am trying to get rid of the sexist connotations of the “violence against women” campaigns itself.
Violence is violence, and violence itself is a crime, regardless of sex. Both men and women can be victim of violence. Why is the limelight always on women, while the men are often overlooked when they are victims of violence and abuse?
In 100 domestic violence situations approximately 40 cases involve violence by women against men. That means there are around 300,000 to 400,000 men being abused by their partners. Over 1.5 million Kenyan men are battered by their wives. Is that a number to be ignored?
Campaigns for violence against women are wrong. They should be campaigns against violence itself, regardless of sex.
Violence Against Men
A couple of years ago back when I was in college I did a project focusing on sexual harassment on men. Many of my colleagues and even some of the lecturers are surprised at the numbers, because men are subject to violence and harassment anywhere. Abuse can come in forms of emotional abuse, physical abuse, threats, financial abuse and of course, sexual abuse.
Just picture a psycho girlfriend from hell and you can imagine how far can these forms of abuses can go.
There is abundant and unarguable evidence that most victims of male violence, whether on streets or battlefields, in playgrounds, classrooms, prisons, hospitals and barracks, are male. Given that these victims massively outnumber their violators, it looks as though what men have historically mostly been for is to be the subjects of other men’s violence. Why are we unable to get worked up about this? — Steven Connor, Violence, Victims and Gender
That’s right. In other words, why are we so sexist that we forget men are subject to violence for centuries and put the limelight on women being abused? Are the men themselves to be blamed for being violent, or the feminists for pushing all the problems to men?
Men has always been thought to be the stronger one between the two sexes. Genetics they say show that testerone in men makes them more violent. How do you explain female serial killers and abusers? Are genetics to be blamed here?
On the other end, men are not allowed to cry. You know the line, “boys don’t cry”. They are supposed to be the macho guy that can withstand any problem. The social expectations stress men so much that they are reluctant to report abuse. Men are thus forced to silence.
And that my friend, is abuse.
If you ask me, there is such a bigger picture to see. Anyone can be a violator, and anyone can be a victim of violence. There shouldn’t be any distinction in sexes, and men should not be put to blame on any form of violence. Violence by itself is wrong.
The next time you see a violence against women campaign or anything similar, think again. What is the main issue, women, or violence?
More reads:
Husband Abuse
BBC: Male Victims of Domestic Violence
Hidden Hurt: Men Can Be Victims Too!
Comments (13)
Evan
December 1st, 2009 at 12:48 am
so true…
so true…
Dhar
December 1st, 2009 at 4:01 am
I totally agree… some men got whacked by me in my life time WAHAHAHA!
bernard
December 1st, 2009 at 7:32 am
hello!
you have a realli nice blog!
=D
Grey Ang
December 1st, 2009 at 9:12 am
evan: i know, i know :D
dhar: you abuser!! imma report you to twittersphere! xD hahaha
bernard: haha thanks for dropping by! i appreciate it :D
JunJun-Riko
December 1st, 2009 at 9:42 am
Haha. Good one. But I think it’s because majority women suffer from violence by men rather than the other way round, therefore the enhanced attention towards “women” in the campaign. And more than often, normally always, men are physically stronger than women, (unless of coz he is sick/weak/old/the women is Xena), men can protect themselves when the situation becomes critical.
The world is just sexist by itself. Women are portrayed to be weak, therefore they need protection. All bunch of bullshit if you ask me.
I’m still waiting for the day when a men get rapes by a women, or a bunch of women. Rape, I repeat. RAPE. Then we can start the violence against men are wrong campaign.
You know, I don’t even know where I stand regarding this post. =.=”
But nice post. =)
kenwooi
December 1st, 2009 at 2:22 pm
good one! i totally agree!
but in general view.. probably women are generalized as the weaker gender.. and probably more violence are done onto women..
but i still agree with what you said..
men get harassed too! =P
ericlee
December 1st, 2009 at 10:48 pm
It’s true that violence against men are rarely discussed. It’s probably the well implanted perception that women are the weaker sex made us sympathies with women more. Men rape by women is actually quite common although many did not come forward with it due to their pride. I once read in a newspaper that a guy was gang-raped and humiliated by 6 women in America and when he lodge a police report, many were skeptical at first. It’s the violence we had to face not the gender.
Anyway, what do you think of my latest post.
http://leehuangshi.blogspot.com/2009/12/what-are-guys-thinking-pt-2.html
I have an interest in your point of view regarding this topic. XD
Grey Ang
December 1st, 2009 at 11:20 pm
junjun riko: well i have heard of guys being raped by girl, and guys being gang raped by a bunch of guys, gang raped by a bunch of girls… well never heard of yet, haha. but if that really happens, i’m sure the emotional scar will be just as deep, if not deeper. no matter who is being raped it’s still violence. men raped cases are plenty, they just never talk about it for various reasons.
kenwooi: well yeah! i’m sure some of us guys have been victims of harassment in school or other places before. but we never talk or make a fuss about it just because of face problem, sigh. but some of the guys have situations that can really be categorized as violence!
ericlee: well, there’s your answer JunjunRiko, a men raped by 6 women! even the cops are skeptical about it, aren’t our world sexist? :/ thanks for your reply eric! i will check out your post definitely :D
Gratitude
December 2nd, 2009 at 6:09 pm
Well said, well said…O’ son of the compassionate lineage! :) Women want gender equality, but at the same time, also want their men to be gentlemen and to wine and dine and foot the bill. Mana boleh?! My 2-cents worth of crap……. lolz
Nice blog, I’m a fan! ^_^
+Ant+
serious_sam_hk
December 2nd, 2009 at 10:23 pm
from another aspect…
do u guys know that most researchers choose male lab animals to be tested?
mice, rats, rabbits, guinea pigs, monkeys….
males are preferred…
haha….
Grey Ang
December 3rd, 2009 at 12:25 am
gratitude: yeah! women can be so indecisive :P men are much better… bauhwahwahwa! and hey thanks for coming to my blog! i really appreciate it :D
serious sam: omg, really?? D: even the scientists are sexist! violence against male animals! argh!!! D:
ladyviral
December 3rd, 2009 at 8:25 pm
what you say is right. men now a days are victims to abuse too.
but this campaign was form before men became a victim so ibelieve… because in the days, women get abused so much and they could not do anything but to run to this kind association. i guess things have changed since… and now a days women are getting boder, hence they are not all helpless anymore.
Grey Ang
December 4th, 2009 at 8:48 am
ladyviral: yes i agree :D these days women are much stronger than they are before, and many of them are stronger than men too! i guess as time change, we must change as well, women are no longer the weaker sex :)
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